The day came when we had to proceed to the first singularity. Luckily, I’ve prepared myself. ❙❙❙❙❙’s taking Saber with him. It seems that they really get along, I don’t care. We are here to save the world, not to make friends. We are not in some dumb summer camp, the world is already over. I'm afraid we'll all die here.

 

I'm starting to burn myself out [No, that's not a pun] because of my own overthinking, I'm glad to know that at least, we all agreed to leave quickly. Roman said I should smile a little bit more, "It's sad to see someone your age frowning all the time."

Well, honey, some of us don't care about e-girls, you manchild.

 

It was hard, but I managed to summon my first Servant. It was a Ruler Class, of course.

But I didn't just summon the best class. I summoned the best boy ever.

 

Even if he’s imposing, I was still feeling insecure with just one Servant, so I decided to try again. An ❙❙❙❙❙❙❙ Class Servant made his entrance before me, I chose to call him ❙❙❙❙ ❙❙❙❙❙ once everything was done on that singularity. He looked so angry at the world... He made it clear he would not say who he was until he could trust a nerd, or until it was necessary.

It seems that this big bad wolf has rabies.

 

But if I have to do it, I'll count on his help ... As soon as I said where we were going to leave, he grabbed my neck. He wanted... No, Avenger needed to go there.

 

After an awful journey, in which ❙❙❙❙❙ and ❙❙❙❙❙❙❙❙ seemed to be distracted by the dragons, we ended up with the draconic witch. It was a battle that scared me, but ❙❙❙❙ revealed his (for me, genuinely tragic) identity, shouted, screamed. Refusing to become like that woman he hated. He didn't want to be like her. All Avenger wants is to be an ideal which could prove the delusion made which brought the death of Jeanne d'Arc; he never was a deranged mutt that would burn everything to the ground. I judge him wrongly. So, I understand if he's mad at me.

 

Before we made it back to Chaldea, I noticed Ruler's conversation with ❙❙❙❙❙. No, not the Ruler that I summoned, also known as best-boy.

The one that was summoned by the earth, that holy woman. There seemed to be a sadness between them, as well as pride on the part of my Servant, who was refraining from speaking. After all, I was tending to Avenger's wound even if he kept on trash talking me with a smile.

"I promise that we will meet again, Jeanne d'Arc. And that we will laugh at all of this. Because... We really saved this world. Didn't we?"

 

And, I couldn't help but notice what ❙❙❙❙❙❙❙❙ said to the Avenger that was going to disappear. It's very concerning.

"I believe in your kindness. And if revenge is all you truly wish... Do I have the right to say "no"?

Will you answer my call, Alter?"

 

I guess we saw our Servant's 'birth'. How exciting. For now, it seems that I have made Avenger my ally. He asked me to do this, not to take pity on him. Because then, he would make sure to take me to hell with his own hands.

And, I think ❙❙❙❙❙❙, seems to be proud of me. He is shy, I wonder how can a Ruler be acting like that. He's apart, spending the days in his room with a computer. There is no doubt that he can fight, it's a ❙❙❙, after all. The ❙❙❙❙❙ who assured that he will be measuring my actions when he dies. I just hope I can be his personal assistant.

So, I will conclude my log here.

❙❙❙❙❙ has requested to go along with me to the Roman singularity, while ❙❙❙❙❙❙❙❙ and Mashu leave to another. I guess it's more efficient... And more dangerous. I just hope everything goes well. Notwithstanding how annoying those two are, I really feel comfortable with them.

 

But I ended up coming out of the closet because of ❙❙❙❙❙.

I decided to judge him over the Servants he summoned when we returned, but I ended up regretting that.

I said that talking to him is like talking to a gay wall. He laughed it off, telling me that was homophobic.

And that's when I fucked up, I said no, because I'm gay too, so... Yeah. I came out of the close to a guy I can't stand. Calling out someone's bullshit isn't being homophobic. I will not let him call me a homophobe in the face. What hurt me - no, it didn't hurt, it just bothered me, were his words.

❝You'd go this far just to try to prove me wrong, ❙❙❙❙❙❙. It's okay. After all, you're a better Master and Magus than me, aren't you?❞

I felt really pathetic there.

He's not wrong, I want to hide how I feel, I want to hide what I'm like, but... It makes me want to cry. But I can't afford to cry, can't I?