I’ve been in Chaldea for four months now. I came in June because my family’s ███████ for me to be part of ████ █ was denied, so had to come then. Actually, I'm here... 
Why am I here? 

My family is not that known, we’re just alchemists. We have been like our ███████. Always neutral. Still, ignoring or belittling us is not a good idea. I came here because they wanted one of us to make it here. They wanted to know what Chaldea was.

I suppose I did not let them down. I have discovered what Chaldea is, what they want to do, but not what we fight against, days go by and all I see is DaVinci flirting with Lancelot, or his Master trying to have lunch with me or, just get closer, like a friend. Maybe we really are equals as men? 

He has no talent, but he does have the charisma I don’t. We can help each other, support █████ until she leaves the third singularity. Frank refuses to leave until she’s back. He insists on how going to the Grand Order in 1888 is unsafe and we should go together, the three of us. 
He really cares for her. I don’t.

I am an honest person. I don’t like hiding my opinions. Be it themselves as people, be it their methods.

If I don’t like you, I’ll be sure to let you know.
She hangs out with Avenger as if she were her best friend or her girlfriend. She’s crazy.
I try staying determined. But there are things she does… That is too much for me to handle. Like that bitch going to Fuyuki all on her own. Do you think you’re being badass? I do not know what she had in her mind, but, Frank can’t keep going in her tail, no.

And if the implications of █████ wanting to commit suicide are true, I do not want to think about what he feels on that.
If she’s losing her head, we can’t be her grip to reality. She cares more about that stupid witch than about our mission.
As days go by, I see Archer trying to prepare something for Halloween. Maybe I'll listen to him. I do not know what to do, but, until she comes back, I don’t know what to do. We could do a small party alone, or, ask other Servants to help us. Still, Frank’s Rider could try bullying him. After all, that Rider does not get along with Archer’s adult self, or so I think.

When Halloween came, I decided to help Archer out. His smile made my day and, █████ seemed to have fun with other Servants. I think Roman angered him. I still remember DaVinci’s Halloween costume, Lancelot could not take his eyes off her.
It's funny, really. █████ disguised himself as a mummy. Ironic. But, the months passed, November came ... Things are going well. Being with Frank all alone is not that bad. We do not argue, we do not fight, we care a lot for each other…

 

Until /she/ comes.

She has no idea of anything, but she storms there, believing herself to be the best. That idiot of a carrot-woman should act before thinking, I know she is having a bad time, like everyone else, but being an idiot, she’s not achieving anything. She's having a good time in the third era.

 

And then, it was Christmas! █████ came to the dining room shouting something about how a panther and Saber Alter kidnapped him to be their reindeer. No, Frank, I don’t care what you were dreaming about. Quit drinking. We're underage.

 

We had dinner with DaVinci, our Servants and Roman that day. Frank’s Archer cooked, Ruler ate quietly, supervising and smiling again at my “growth as a human”. Even if seeing him angry is not pleasant, I feel comfortable with him, that’s what matters to me.
Just in case my day couldn’t be nicer, Archer did a thing. He came to my room, dressed as Santa Claus. Smiling, he asked me to help him deliver gifts around Chaldea, and I… I could not refuse.

I feel like he is like a little brother to me.

Archer made sure no one would see us, distracting people around. 
I left a letter in █████’s room and while he was busy, I left some chocolate on Archer’s room, but, ██████ would not accept any gift, instead, he chose to give me a pendant.
 

❝How long have you been putting up with me, Master?
I am an atypical Servant. I can not deny feeling interest in watching you grow stronger. Do forgive me, for I can not help but see you as not exactly as an equal, but, as a fellow worker. Therefore, let me give you a gift. Although I am the one who receives your devotion and assistance, I want to give you something, if you can accept something from someone so grim and depressing as I am, that is.❞
 

"I brought something for you too, Master! Just, don’t tell the other me, please..."
Archer tossed at me a lapis lazuli bracelet and an invitation to a █████ ████ that... I really wonder where did he get that.

I've never felt so happy. Accepted, loved, appreciated. 
They always asked me a lot from me back at home, because, that is what is expected of me. 
I feel this warmth is different from the one I see usually at Chaldea. It is not a blazing embrace like Frank’s, but, it is the soft heat of a fireplace, as a family...
I will end this log here. I know. I've been filling it with my personal bullshit and feelings, but, that's what we've lived. 
Next entry will focus on the Singularity located London.